Wedding lists: Tricky pieces of papers with hundreds of names written on them, often soaked it tears. I am exaggerating a bit, but it is true that deciding who is going to be present at your wedding can be a challenge. You might want a small wedding and your fiance might want a huge one. Or your future mother in law might be pushing you to invite people you don’t even know.

The one and only thing that you need to keep in mind when deciding at your wedding list is that this is your wedding and only you and your spouse have the right to decide who is going to be present. Now off we go to some more useful tips.

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The Budget
You should not go into debt to please people other people, because they will most likely not help you repay it. Your budget is a very rational argument and you should calmly ask your family to respect the limitation to the number of guests.

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Exes Are Out
Yes, you might be good friends with your high school sweetheart from twenty years ago, but if your future spouse does not feel comfortable having them at the wedding, you should respect their wish without second thoughts. Do not let other people go between you two ever and especially during the planning of your special day.

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Colleagues
In order to avoid drama in the office, you have to keep an “everyone or no one” rule. This means that when you invite two people who work in the same room as you, it is a good idea to invite the remaining five as well. You can also choose to invite your boss and none of your colleagues, in case of a limited budget.

Be Thoughtful
You might not like your future spouse’s aunt, but if you know he loves her, add her in the list without second-guessing his choice. Think that they probably also do not like all of your family to the same extend, but they respect your wish to have them around you for this special day. And if they do not respect your wish, do talk about it. Calmly.